Me-Mail: Ball Dropping Fun

To: Jiminyjcricket@cricketwatch.net
From: GW
Subj: Ball Dropping Fun

Jiminy,

That was quite a show you put on last night. I had a blast as did the wife and kids. You are welcome in our home any time. Also, thank you for the chocolates. They were as delicious as they were visually exquisite, just like your tight little green thorax. Keep up the good work.

Best Regards,
G. Willikers

Me-Mail: Dog Days

Tick tick peanut butter, jelly and the jam. I’ve got the moves of a travelin’ band. Take the deppy posits off the positronic tonic and let’s do this all for mustard. Bang. Rocket off to Phobos. Take the coats off of the hobos and give them sonic with brie on it, like the embryonic phonics. Sicks sense, we’re staying home from school. We’ll show that old fool the gold pool and take the monkeys off the fence. What’s up now, dude? Forget the lettuce, let’s get us some tomatoes pureed, pasted and stewed. Bang. Shots me on the burgers. Shall we discuss the habits of rabbits and footlong frankfurters?

Me-Mail: Can he swing from web?

To: jjjameson@dailyplanet.com
From: hosborn@oscorp.com
Subj: Happy Hour

Jonah,

You're an asshole. That said, you sure know how to run a newspaper. Thanks for making sure Oscorp made page one the other day. You really saved my ass with the board. Let's get together for scotch and cigars. Don't invite Spider-man, though. The last time he was over he got shit-faced and shot web fluid all over my fucking apartment. I had to buy a new couch! He said he would pay for it but I haven't seen him since. What a dick. See you tonight.

Harry