To: jjjameson@dailyplanet.com
From: hosborn@oscorp.com
Subj: Happy Hour
Jonah,
You're an asshole. That said, you sure know how to run a newspaper. Thanks for making sure Oscorp made page one the other day. You really saved my ass with the board. Let's get together for scotch and cigars. Don't invite Spider-man, though. The last time he was over he got shit-faced and shot web fluid all over my fucking apartment. I had to buy a new couch! He said he would pay for it but I haven't seen him since. What a dick. See you tonight.
Harry
Monday, July 14, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Me-Mail: Out of Light, Nothing
Dear Sirs,
You cannot overcome light. It would be as futile as trying to stop a wave from breaking on the beach. More interestingly, why would one be driven to such pursuits? Can life be that dull? No chance you’re attempting to follow through on your hollow promises to the Directorate, is there? I’m sorry. Though I’m not there with you, I can already sense I’ve touched a nerve. Yes, light is a bit of a tease, it would seem. You can manipulate it. You can create it, and from a surprisingly wide variety of materials, indeed. But you can never black it out. Not even layers upon layers of thick dust and water reaching high into the stratosphere can accomplish that. Cry havoc and let loose the tempest. When even she tires from her destruction-wreaking, light shall persist.
Cast aside this junk science. Your brilliancies and nuance are sorely needed elsewhere. May I suggest genome-engineering or nano-fuel research? If their respective workloads are too great a burden to bear, perhaps something softer on the brain would do. I hear they’re making remarkable advances in the efficiencies of photo-voltaic cells these days.
Senstor
You cannot overcome light. It would be as futile as trying to stop a wave from breaking on the beach. More interestingly, why would one be driven to such pursuits? Can life be that dull? No chance you’re attempting to follow through on your hollow promises to the Directorate, is there? I’m sorry. Though I’m not there with you, I can already sense I’ve touched a nerve. Yes, light is a bit of a tease, it would seem. You can manipulate it. You can create it, and from a surprisingly wide variety of materials, indeed. But you can never black it out. Not even layers upon layers of thick dust and water reaching high into the stratosphere can accomplish that. Cry havoc and let loose the tempest. When even she tires from her destruction-wreaking, light shall persist.
Cast aside this junk science. Your brilliancies and nuance are sorely needed elsewhere. May I suggest genome-engineering or nano-fuel research? If their respective workloads are too great a burden to bear, perhaps something softer on the brain would do. I hear they’re making remarkable advances in the efficiencies of photo-voltaic cells these days.
Senstor
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Me Mail...SUBJ: Thanks
Austin,
Thanks for getting me those margin estimates. You’re a lifesaver. In fact, I think that I owe you much more than a simple thank you. You see, over the past couple of years, I been hiding a dirty secret. I’ve been stealing your work. Yep, it’s me. Late in the day, after you’ve gone home, I boot your computer up and just starting sending myself your spreadsheets. Then I erase the letters from your sent file and clear the server cache. I’ll change a couple of things here and there, so we don’t end up sending in identical analyses, but it’s all your work.
You’re a pretty bright guy, you know that? There have been a couple of times when I wanted to stop by your cubicle and talk to you about your ideas, but I couldn’t have given myself away like that. I was especially impressed by some of your insights on marginal producers and downward cost pressures as a result of changes in accounting procedures for depreciating assets. That was an amazing piece of analysis. I’m sorry you didn’t get credit for it. If it makes you feel any better, all of that hard work you’ve put in hasn’t really gotten me anywhere, either. Despite the fact that I’ve had a goose giving me pure gold for the past 2 years, I’ve advanced no further than anyone. I already knew I was a failure. Now I know I’m a failure that can’t even make it dishonestly.
I am going to kill myself, Austin. It’s why I’m telling you all this. I’m also going to forward this to the director. Maybe it’s too little, too late, but perhaps you can start getting some of that recognition you deserve. It’s been a pleasure working with you, mate. Let’s get a beer in the next life.
Tubbs
Thanks for getting me those margin estimates. You’re a lifesaver. In fact, I think that I owe you much more than a simple thank you. You see, over the past couple of years, I been hiding a dirty secret. I’ve been stealing your work. Yep, it’s me. Late in the day, after you’ve gone home, I boot your computer up and just starting sending myself your spreadsheets. Then I erase the letters from your sent file and clear the server cache. I’ll change a couple of things here and there, so we don’t end up sending in identical analyses, but it’s all your work.
You’re a pretty bright guy, you know that? There have been a couple of times when I wanted to stop by your cubicle and talk to you about your ideas, but I couldn’t have given myself away like that. I was especially impressed by some of your insights on marginal producers and downward cost pressures as a result of changes in accounting procedures for depreciating assets. That was an amazing piece of analysis. I’m sorry you didn’t get credit for it. If it makes you feel any better, all of that hard work you’ve put in hasn’t really gotten me anywhere, either. Despite the fact that I’ve had a goose giving me pure gold for the past 2 years, I’ve advanced no further than anyone. I already knew I was a failure. Now I know I’m a failure that can’t even make it dishonestly.
I am going to kill myself, Austin. It’s why I’m telling you all this. I’m also going to forward this to the director. Maybe it’s too little, too late, but perhaps you can start getting some of that recognition you deserve. It’s been a pleasure working with you, mate. Let’s get a beer in the next life.
Tubbs
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