Me Mail...SUBJ: Thanks

Austin,

Thanks for getting me those margin estimates. You’re a lifesaver. In fact, I think that I owe you much more than a simple thank you. You see, over the past couple of years, I been hiding a dirty secret. I’ve been stealing your work. Yep, it’s me. Late in the day, after you’ve gone home, I boot your computer up and just starting sending myself your spreadsheets. Then I erase the letters from your sent file and clear the server cache. I’ll change a couple of things here and there, so we don’t end up sending in identical analyses, but it’s all your work.

You’re a pretty bright guy, you know that? There have been a couple of times when I wanted to stop by your cubicle and talk to you about your ideas, but I couldn’t have given myself away like that. I was especially impressed by some of your insights on marginal producers and downward cost pressures as a result of changes in accounting procedures for depreciating assets. That was an amazing piece of analysis. I’m sorry you didn’t get credit for it. If it makes you feel any better, all of that hard work you’ve put in hasn’t really gotten me anywhere, either. Despite the fact that I’ve had a goose giving me pure gold for the past 2 years, I’ve advanced no further than anyone. I already knew I was a failure. Now I know I’m a failure that can’t even make it dishonestly.

I am going to kill myself, Austin. It’s why I’m telling you all this. I’m also going to forward this to the director. Maybe it’s too little, too late, but perhaps you can start getting some of that recognition you deserve. It’s been a pleasure working with you, mate. Let’s get a beer in the next life.

Tubbs